Some decisions in life are straightforward, while others are agonisingly difficult. I've realised the latter can test your determination, shake your confidence, and challenge your very sense of self. One such decision that I grappled with and continue to reflect upon was my resignation from my CFO role.
For over 2 decades, I had dedicated myself to a career that was defined by determination, hard work, and unwavering commitment. Climbing the corporate ladder, I achieved a position many aspire to reach. But success, as they say, comes with its own set of burdens.
In the corporate world, I encountered my fair share of challenges. The politics, the pressure, and the relentless pursuit of profit all took a toll on my sense of fulfilment and purpose. I was caught in a web of what I've come to call "corporate nonsense" that often left me questioning the very essence of my work.
The turning point in my journey came when I lost my mother. She had devoted her entire life to supporting our family, as my father wasn't around often, leaving little time for her to enjoy the fruits of her hard work during her retirement years. I deeply admire my mother for shouldering these responsibilities so gracefully. However, just six months into her retirement, she received a devastating cancer diagnosis.
I couldn't help but feel immense guilt and frustration for not being able to afford the treatment that might have saved her life. This experience became a profound awakening for me. It made me realise that no matter how hard you work or how much you earn, time and health are precious and cannot always be controlled or bought.
The decision to step away from my CFO role was not made hastily. It took me five years of careful consideration and diligent planning to ensure that I had worked hard and saved enough for my future. This decision bore the weight of many years of effort and accomplishments, but it also held the promise of something deeper—a golden opportunity to redefine my life on my own terms, unburdened by the constraints of corporate life.
The internal battle I wrestled with was overwhelming. In the initial weeks of not working, I relished the break, but as the months passed, a sense of shock and guilt set in. I grappled with the feeling that I wasn't contributing and feared stagnation. I had always been active, but the constraints imposed by the pandemic limited my options. The fear of the uncertain future, self-doubt, and the persistent question of whether I had made an enormous mistake haunted me daily. It was an ongoing struggle, with my rational mind conflicting with the desires of my heart.
In the end, what allowed me to come to terms with my choice was recognising that it was a conscious decision to embark on a path aligned with my core values—a path where I could seek fulfilment beyond the restrictions of the corporate world. This realisation spurred me to begin planning and enrolling in courses to further my journey.
May x
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