“Did you meet anyone?” My boyfriend asked me this recently.
“Are you meeting your friends?” “Will any of your friends be there?” The questions were simple. Probably just casual conversation.
But they stayed with me. Because I realised that, lately, when I travel for running events, the answer is usually NO.
I fly somewhere, check into a hotel, collect my race pack, and I run.
And most of the time, I do all of it alone.
That conversation made me think about how different my running life is now compared to before.
Before COVID-19, running was a very different part of my life.
I had running friends. I was constantly meeting new people through running events. There was always someone to run with, someone to sign up for a race with, or someone to meet after a run.
I ran almost every day.
I joined running events almost every weekend.
Running was social.
Then I started travelling frequently between Penang and Singapore. Even so, I still had people to run with. I used to run with my colleagues on weekends.
Then COVID-19 hit. All running stopped.
When things eventually returned to normal, I started running again, but I joined fewer running events. I lost touch with some of the friends I used to run with. Life became busier and more complicated.
And slowly, running became something I did alone.
I attended races alone. I travelled to races alone. I ran alone.
Not because I had consciously decided that this was what I wanted, but because that was simply how life had evolved.
Constant travel didn't help either.
Moving between places meant that I never really had a consistent routine. Just when I started getting comfortable somewhere, I would be somewhere else.
And with every move, it became harder to maintain friendships and find people to run with.
Of course, there is always the question:
Why don't you just make new friends?
Honestly… how? 😂
I'm an introvert. I'm also shy about approaching people.
You see someone running alone.
Then you think, “But what do I say?”
“Hi.” “Where are you from?” “So… do you run?” 😂
And suddenly, you realise you have no idea how to continue the conversation. 😂
But the truth is, I don't actually mind running alone.
There are many things I enjoy about it.
I can run at my own pace. I can choose the races I want to join. I can travel wherever I want without having to coordinate schedules with anyone.
Running has always been something personal to me.
It has taken me to places I might never have visited otherwise. It has challenged me, frustrated me, given me some of my proudest moments, and occasionally made me question why I ever thought signing up for another race was a good idea. 😂
So I don't think running alone makes my running journey sad or incomplete.
I am perfectly capable of enjoying a race alone.
But being comfortable alone doesn't mean I don't also enjoy connecting with other people.
Those two things can exist at the same time.
Lately, as I've been trying to get back into running, I've also started trying to connect with other runners online.
I join running chats. I cheer people on. I congratulate them when they complete a race or achieve something they have been working towards.
And I genuinely mean it.
I enjoy seeing other runners achieve their goals.
I hope that, over time, some of these online connections can become real friendships.
I hope people will accept this casual runner who isn't always consistent, isn't always fast, and sometimes disappears for weeks before suddenly deciding to run again. 😂
Maybe we can motivate each other.
Maybe we can cheer each other on.
Maybe, one day, we might even meet and go for a run together.
Social media can be a strange thing.
It can connect us to people all over the world, but it can also make us feel like we are missing out.
I constantly see photos of groups of runners running together.
People travelling to races together.
Friends celebrating at the finish line together.
Running clubs organising meet-ups.
And sometimes, I look at those photos and think:
“Wow. They look like they are having so much fun.”
And then:
“I wish I was there.”
Sometimes I wish I were in that country.
Sometimes I wish I were in that city.
Sometimes I wish I had a group of running friends like that.
But everyone's running journey looks different.
Some people run with a group.
Some people run with one close friend.
Some people run with their partners.
And some people run alone.
None of these makes one person's running journey better than another's.
I may be a solo runner most of the time, but that doesn't mean I want to be completely disconnected from the running community.
I still want to cheer for others.
I still want to be cheered on.
I still want to make friends.
Not because I need a running group to make my running meaningful.
Running is already meaningful to me.
But because some experiences are simply nice to share.
The excitement of signing up for a race.
The nerves before the start.
The pain of a long run.
The disappointment of a bad training week.
The happiness of crossing a finish line.
These are things runners understand.
Maybe making friends as an adult is harder.
Maybe making friends when you are constantly travelling is even harder.
And maybe making friends when you are an introvert who is too shy to approach people is harder still. 😂
But I am trying.
Not to change the way I run.
Not to stop running alone.
Just to be a little more open to the connections that come along the way.
Maybe that is where it starts.
With a simple “well done”.
A comment on someone's race.
A message in a running chat.
Or maybe just asking:
“Are you running this race too?”
Because perhaps the goal isn't to stop running alone.
Maybe it's simply to realise that you can run your own race and still find your people along the way. 🏃🏻♀️
May xx
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