My Body Has Changed. So Has My Life.

I used to weigh between 47 and 49kg for most of my adult life. Back then, fitting into an XS was just... normal. I never thought much about it.

Then COVID happened. Yes, I still blame COVID.

Living in Penang during the lockdown meant we were confined to our homes. We could only leave for groceries and travel within a limited radius. Like many others, I started working from home, and the boundaries between work and life disappeared.

Wake up.

Work.

Lunch at my desk.

Keep working.

Before I knew it, it was evening.

There was no commute, no reason to get up, and somehow there was never an end to the workday.

I tried to stay active, but it wasn't the same.

When the world finally reopened, life had changed. Many of my running friends had retired from running, and not long after that, I moved to another country. I still went for the occasional run with colleagues, but the routine and community I once had slowly faded away.

Then work became busier.

Then I left my job and moved to Bangkok to be with my boyfriend.

Life settled into a completely different rhythm.

By then, I was hovering around 52kg.

At first, it didn't seem like much. But little by little, I noticed the changes.

My XS clothes stayed in the wardrobe.

Then I moved into size S.

Then M.

Eventually, even some of my M-sized clothes no longer fit comfortably.

I don't buy clothes often. So when I do, it's usually because I genuinely need them.

Yesterday, I went shopping.

For the first time, I didn't even bother reaching for a size M.

I picked up a size L without thinking. Five years ago, I would never have imagined doing that.

This morning, the scale read 59.8kg.

A younger version of me would probably have panicked.

Today?

Not anymore.

I've tried.

I've trained for marathons.

I've walked, run, swum, and started over more times than I can count.

Could I do more? Probably.

Should I start strength training? Definitely.

Could I eat better? Probably.

But life isn't lived in perfect training cycles.

Sometimes you're building a career.

Sometimes you're moving countries.

Sometimes you're trying to settle into a new place.

Sometimes you're so busy showing up for the people you love...

...that somewhere along the way, you forget to show up for yourself.

Age changes us.

Hormones change us.

Life changes us.

Do I still want to become stronger and healthier?

Absolutely.

Not because I want to fit back into an XS.

Not because I want to see 49kg on the scale again.

But because I want to feel strong.

I want to keep running.

Keep travelling.

Keep exploring.

Keep saying yes to adventures.

So yes, today I'm 59.8kg.

The clothes are bigger.

The body is different.

The pace isn't what it used to be.

Would I like to lose a few kilos? Of course.

But I'm not going to beat myself up over it anymore.

Life happened.

Age happened.

And that's okay.

So I'll just keep moving.

One last thing before I end...

This isn't about saying one size is better than another, or that there's anything wrong with being a size L.

It's simply an honest reflection on how my body has changed over the years. We all have different bodies, different lifestyles, different genetics and different life journeys. This one just happens to be mine.

I'm curious...

Have you noticed your body changing too?

Was there a moment when you realised things weren't quite the same anymore?

What has helped you make peace with those changes—or are you still figuring it out?

I'd genuinely love to hear your story. Let's have an honest conversation in the comments. ❤️

May xx

When Running Stops Looking the Same

I haven’t really been sharing much about my runs lately. Not because I stopped moving… just because things have been a bit all over the place.

Running has always been a big part of my routine. But since December 2025, things started to change.

At first, it was manageable. I was still able to push through and even complete two full marathons during that period. Running didn’t feel perfect, but it was still possible.

After January, things started to shift. My plantar issue became more persistent, and my shin began to flare up, too.

There were days it felt like my body just wasn’t cooperating the way it used to.

Over time, my shin improved, which was a relief. But the plantar issue still comes and goes whenever it wants to.

So I made a decision I didn’t take lightly — I stopped forcing my runs.

Instead, I started showing up in different ways.

Walking.

Swimming.

Slowing down.

It wasn’t what I planned, but it became what I needed.

Life also continued in between all of this.

There was travel, long walks in new places, and a slower way of exploring the world. At first, it felt like I was “less active” than before.

But slowly, I started to realise something important — I was still moving. Just differently.

And surprisingly, I started to enjoy this slower pace more than I expected.

Seven days into May, I realised I’ve already walked almost 35km.

It’s not the same as logging running miles. It doesn’t look like marathon training.

But it still counts.

It still matters.

I’m still showing up.

I don’t know exactly when I’ll be back to running at full capacity.

But I do know I will return to it.

For now, I’m learning that consistency doesn’t always look like running.

Sometimes it looks like walking.

Sometimes it looks like resting.

Sometimes it looks like trusting the process, even when it doesn’t make sense.

Oh well,

This season has taught me that movement is not just about pace or distance.

It’s about showing up in whatever form your body allows you to.

One step at a time. Literally.

May xx