My Running Journey

I wasn’t athletic when I was young. I loved running, but I was never fast enough to compete properly. The only “competitions” I joined were school sports days, running for my house. That was about it.

After I started working, keeping fit wasn’t a priority at all. Exercise wasn’t even in my dictionary. Running? Training? A healthy lifestyle? I didn’t think about any of that. Life was about work, getting things done, and moving on to the next thing.

I started running again in 2012 with my 🐷 sister and her friend, our adik bongbongsu. My first run was a 10km race. No training. I honestly thought, “How hard can 10km be?” Trust me — it was brutal. My legs were so sore I walked like a crab for days.

But somehow, I went back for more. Slowly, my sister and I continued this running journey together. She has always been my biggest motivator to keep running. My second race — again, with no proper training — was 17km. Painful, tiring, uncomfortable… yet I started to enjoy these little tortures and challenges. Our motto back then was “lambat janji sampai” — and I added “dan selamat”. Years ago, there were quite a lot of accidents during races. It was scary. Finishing safely mattered more than speed.

I couldn’t fully commit to running at that time because I was doing my degree and later my master’s, mostly on weekends. But once I completed my studies in 2016, I ran whenever I could. Weekends became running days. I met many running friends through events. I even flew to nearby “overseas” destinations just to run, because there weren’t many running events in Penang back then. I was addicted.

There were podium finishes at small races. The excitement. The community. The routine.

Then COVID happened. Everything stopped. We were locked inside our homes. I lost my running momentum. I lost touch with my running friends. When things slowly opened up again, work took over. My job demanded more time and presence, and running became my way to release stress rather than something competitive. Events no longer crossed my mind — I never knew where I would be in a few months’ time anyway.

I still enjoy running a lot. Training matters. Friends matter. Having people around you makes a difference — you push each other, encourage each other, and show up together. Most of those friends are now on their own paths, and that’s okay. Fair play to them. I’ve been away from home for a long time since COVID. I left Penang. I left Malaysia.

Running stayed — just in a different form.

Age is catching up — I feel it. Recovery takes longer. Niggles don’t disappear overnight. I’m not as fearless as I was in my twenties, and I don’t bounce back the same way anymore. But I also know myself better now.

I don’t want to run aimlessly anymore. I want objectives. I want goals. Not to prove anything to anyone. Not to chase podiums. But to give my running a direction again — something to work towards, something that makes me show up even on days when motivation is low.

This comeback isn’t about being faster than others. It’s about being consistent with myself. Training smarter. Respecting my body. Setting realistic targets — whether that’s finishing strong, improving endurance, staying injury-free, or simply showing up week after week.

I’ve learnt that running changes as you age, and that’s okay. These days, my goal is simple — finish the run and enjoy the race. No pressure, no chasing others, just showing up and getting it done.

This comeback is quieter, more intentional, and hopefully more meaningful in its own way.

May x

When Fresh Air Becomes a Luxury

Back in December, Bangkok’s weather was perfect—cool mornings, fresh air, and that “mini winter” feeling that made everything better. I heard it was even colder up north, but it already felt pleasantly cool for me, almost like summer back in the UK. I was running outdoors, taking long walks, and just enjoying how comfortable the city felt. It was the kind of weather that made you want to be outside. Some locals were even wearing winter jackets, which was quite comical, and a few asked if I was cold because I was still in my usual sportswear and shorts.

Then, I left Bangkok for a few days, heading back to Singapore and Penang for some errands. When I returned, I felt like I had stepped into a completely different city. While flying back into Suvarnabhumi Airport, I could already see the thick haze hanging in the air, blurring the skyline. The cool, refreshing weather was gone, replaced by a thick, suffocating smog that made everything feel dull and oppressive. Bangkok had changed—and not for the better.

The air got so bad that authorities started offering free rides on public transport, including the BTS Skytrain. At first, I was like, Yay! Free rides! But then I wondered—why were staff handing out free cards at the stations? When I asked around, locals told me the idea was to reduce car usage and lower emissions. A solid plan in theory, but in reality? The trains were packed. Bangkok’s BTS is always busy, but this was another level. Squeezing into a train during rush hour felt like a survival game. It was as if everyone had forgotten that Covid ever happened. And now that the free rides have ended, I’m not sure if they made any real difference. The air still feels just as bad.

As a runner, this haze has been a nightmare. Running outside is out of the question—unless I want to choke on pollutants. Running with a mask? Even worse. So, I’ve had to move my workouts indoors, swapping outdoor runs for gym sessions. I go to the gym for my PT sessions anyway, but it’s not the same. There’s something about running through the city, feeling the fresh air (or what used to be fresh air) that a treadmill just can’t replace.

I’ve been staying indoors as much as possible. Bangkok’s pollution levels have been hovering in the “unhealthy” range, and at this point, I would rather not risk it. My only real exposure to the haze is the 1.6km walk home from the train station; even that feels too much sometimes. It’s frustrating.

The free public transport initiative is over, but the pollution isn’t. Bangkok recently ranked among the most polluted cities in the world, and unless bigger changes happen, this isn’t going away anytime soon. For now, all I can do is take precautions—wear masks, stay indoors when possible, and hope that real solutions are on the way. But let’s be honest, we can’t keep hiding from the air forever. Something has to change.

Have you been struggling with the haze, too? How has it affected your daily routine? Let’s talk in the comments.

May x